Carrie Newcomer: Holy, Joyful Day!

Holy is the place I stand

To give whatever small good I can

The empty page, the open book

Redemption everywhere I look

~Carrie Newcomer

My heart is full of joy and gratitude when I think about Carrie Newcomer and her presence on this planet.  Today I especially celebrate Carrie's life and all of the music, wisdom, stories, and love that comes through her and that she shares so authentically and generously with the world.

I first met Carrie in February 1993 in Bloomington, IN while I was a graduate student at Indiana University. She was playing a concert at Bear's Place and said something that apparently I found quite humorous as I let out a loud cackle. (I have a very distinctive, loud laugh I am told....). Nobody else laughed, and Carrie said, "I must have found my metaphysical connection in the audience. She laughs, but nobody else does. We should have coffee."

Well little did she know at the time that you don't ask Jill Stratton to have coffee and not have me follow up on that offer!  So although it took some time to coordinate our schedules, Carrie and I finally got together for lunch at the Uptown Cafe in May 1993. Since then, I have been one of Carrie's biggest fans and at one point, I was even her manager.



I once told Carrie that I would walk to the ends of the earth for her and her music. I believe that strongly in the power of Carrie's music to transform, heal, and move people.



Carrie, Parker, & Jill

Parker Palmer claims, "It is a mark of spiritual range as well as artistic virtuosity when a singer-songwriter can make you dance one moment, laugh the next, and then take you to a deeply moving, even prayerful place, as she touches on regret, loss, or grief, or on the wonder of being alive. Carrie’s music does all of this for me, and more."

I would still walk to the ends of the earth to support Carrie and her music.



What do you want to be when you grow up?

On the eve of Washington University's commencement, I wonder how many graduating seniors are reflecting on what they want to be when they grow up.  How many times have we asked others that question and how often have we asked ourselves the very same question?

Because let's face it--even grown-ups still ask themselves that question. I know that I ask myself on a regular basis: What do I want to be when I grow up?

I want to make a difference on a daily basis. I want to impact, connect, listen, care, be, give back, stretch, challenge, and model love and light.

I want to surround myself with bold, creative thinkers who challenge me to be a better person. I want to connect with others who care more about others than they care about their individual success.

I want to explore possibilities with seekers, dreamers, and activists.

• I want to meditate.
• I want to pray.
• I want to write.
• I want to laugh.
• I want to teach.
• I want to learn.
• I want to dream big.
• I want to let my life speak.

When it’s all said and done, I want to live in the present moment, spend time with the people that I love, honor and learn from my past, and contribute to making this world a better place. I want to leave people and places better than when I found them.

I want to live my life with joy and gusto.  

I want to be happy!

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Love Is Simple

I want a simple love like that
Always giving never asking back
When I'm in my final hour looking back
I hope I had a simple love like that
--Sarah Siskind, songwriter

On May 15, 1945, Charles Davis and Marion Page were married. When I called my grandmother last year to wish her and my grandfather a happy anniversary, I asked her what she remembered about her wedding day.

She said they got married at the preacher’s house.

I asked her what time of day, and she said it was in the afternoon.

I asked her who was there, and she said her brother Vodrey and his girlfriend, Kathleen. She said that Vodrey was in the service and had made her promise not to get married until he came home.

She said it was a simple service.

Love is simple, and sixty-seven years ago today my grandparents who were 17 at the time, made a promise to one another.

Love is simple, but life can be complicated. And my grandparent’s lives have been both full of love and challenges. Love sustains them, and they have built their lives on a foundation of love and faith.

I deeply admire my grandparents. They kept their promise to one another through the good times and the hard times.

They model love by living simply and humbly, by focusing on family and faith, and by caring for one another.

They are the parents of three children including Alice (my mom), Norma, and Chuck.

They lost a child: my aunt, Norma, who died in 1993 at age 46.

They have 6 grandchildren and 4 great-grandchildren.

They have lived through both joy-filled times and really difficult times. And they kept their promise.

Their wedding ceremony on that Tuesday afternoon in May of 1945 was as my grandmother said: simple.

And their love and marriage have exemplified that love is indeed simple…and strong….and love is all there is.

Happy Anniversary, Granny and Bigdaddy:

When I'm in my final hour looking back I hope I had a simple love like that!

Your House Is Strong

Here is a link to a beautiful love song to mothers written and performed by Nerissa & Katryna Nields:



The lyrics are powerfully simple. My favorite line in the song reminds me that families are nurtured by love and strengthened by difficult times.

Your house is strong, and so are you
The broken spots are where the light shines through.

It is in the coming together to weather the hard times that families grow stronger. I am grateful to my mom and dad for their love and support through both the joyful and painful times. The last few years have been full of both for me, and I thank my parents for believing in me and being such a foundation of kindness, compassion, and support for our entire family. It is in the cracks that we can best see and embrace the light.

"Children pick up on what their parents live." –Sylvia Boorstein

From my Mom--Alice Stratton--I picked up on kindness, showing up, resilience, faith, listening, doing the best you can with what you've got, and love…also the best lasagna on the planet.

From my Dad—Colonel Andy Stratton: I picked up on perseverance, loyalty, integrity, humor, generosity, courage, and love…and having the most fascinating career path of anyone I have ever known.

Mom and Dad—you teach and model the values that you live.

Yes, our house is strong.

Helen Davis Humanitarian Award

When Helen Davis retired from Washington University's Campus Y in 1995, the university established the Helen Davis Humanitarian Award to recognize her for her invaluable contributions the St. Louis and campus communities. According the Campus Life web site, “The student worthy of the Helen Davis Humanitarian Award will have demonstrated the following commitments in their services to the St. Louis community:


■Enabling and empowering others to accomplish their goals and dreams.

■Displaying resourcefulness to meet the needs of others.

■Embracing differences and showing a commitment to diversity.

■Sharing a generous and unselfish attitude.

■Promoting human welfare through education and action.

■Demonstrating a commitment to social justice. “

Helen regularly attends the leadership awards ceremony so she can personally meet the student who is selected for the honor. She then invites the awardee out to lunch so she can get to know him or her on an individual basis. Helen has told me that she truly enjoys the opportunity to get to know the student and his/her passions, which reflects Helen’s continued commitment to empowering young people. I often hear from the students after their lunch with Helen about how much they also enjoyed the chance to get to know her on a personal basis.

This past Sunday night, it was a joy to attend the Excellence in Leadership Awards ceremony with Helen and her daughter Carol Moakley. It was such fun to see Helen in action interacting with many of the students whom she had met through the Campus Y, the Healing the Heart of Democracy retreat, and through her involvement in the community.

At age 81, Helen is still going strong working towards social justice, modeling the way for others, serving the community, and contributing to making this world a better place. I learn from her every day and am so grateful for her presence on this planet and in my life.

Congratulations to Patrick Hollinger who is this year's Helen Davis Humanitarian honoree. I can't wait to hear about his lunch with Helen (which she has already scheduled with him!)

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Magic and Miracles

Everything You Need Is Right Here is the title of Kimberly Schneider’s new book, and the subtitle is “Manifesting Magic and Miracles.” Her main premise is that magic and miracles are all around us, and we just aren’t aware of their presence in our lives.

What magic is around you right now? Around all of us?

The magic of light, and the magic of darkness. As Parker Palmer reminds, we hold both light and darkness within us and once we come to terms with that, we can more fully embrace our true authentic selves.

Striving for perfection is a pointless goal. As Salvador Dali asserts, “Have no fear of perfection. You will never reach it.” I find that freeing.

Perhaps we should strive for being more human—embracing our glorious and imperfect humanity—both the light and the dark of our being. We can lean into the light but acknowledge the darkness so that it doesn’t claim us. We can claim it in order to let the light wash over us.

Maybe both the magic and miracles in this life become more apparent and present when we live whole-heartedly and lean into our humanity and connect with others fully in their humanity. Life is a precious gift. All of life is magic, and all of living is a miracle.

What if we lived our lives as is if we were walking miracles interacting with other miracles—connecting our diving magic with others’ divine magic?

Perhap our world would burst open with more miracles and magic, and we would realize that all we need is right here!!

Who Are We Not To Shine?

One of my favorite Nerissa Nields songs is “Who Are You Not To Shine?”

Who are you not to shine?
Who are you not to glow?
Who are you not to be your own best self?
You can be who you are
You can change as you grow
But be you, don’t be anybody else

If you weren’t you then who would tell your stories
If you weren’t you then who would walk your miles?
If you weren’t you then who would help your sisters?
If you weren’t you then who would smile your smile?

I was thinking about this song when I was visiting my almost 3 year old nephew, Drew, last weekend in Kentucky.

Drew dances, sings, runs, jumps, laughs, and lives life with such joy. He truly shines. He also brings lots of joy to our family. It is fun to watch him in action: blowing dandelions with gusto, throwing acorns in the creek, break-dancing to the banjo, singing to The Nields song “Aiken Drum,” and giggling with glee as I chase him around the back yard!

Drew reminds me of what is important in this life: love, laughter, and living life with unabashed joy. I am grateful to Drew for teaching me how to embrace each moment with enthusiasm and passion. He definitely shines as he dances, sings, hugs, runs, laughs, plays, and jumps (sometimes too high off of a trampoline and breaks his wrist).

Children have a lot to teach us about joy and shining.

Who are all of us not to shine?

Saying Yes to Life

Yes: saying yes to life. What does that mean?

Being open, stepping forward, showing up, and always walking into available light. How do you know what light is available? By putting one foot in front of the other.

Sometimes, we can all get overwhelmed with the big stuff and doubt that we can actually do it all. Perhaps, by just taking it step by step or as Anne Lamott reminds taking things “bird by bird” all will be ok, and that is all it takes.

Of course none of us can do everything, but all of can do something. I love this quote by Marian Wright Edelman:

“We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee.”

Saying yes is a way of being present, making a daily difference, and taking risks. There are many metaphors for taking risks:

• Taking a leap of faith
• Leaping and the net will appear
• Walking across the tight-rope
• Stepping up to the plate
• Going out on a limb

Saying yes to life is saying yes to faith. It is saying yes when we are not sure. It is a not a false yes—a false pretense—but a genuine enthusiasm for what is and what is possible.

We feel more confident and more able to say yes to life when we are in the presence of supportive others. Friends and family who truly believe in us encourage us to say yes more often. Surrounding ourselves with wise counsel reassures us that we have what it takes inside us to take that next step. We are not alone, but sometimes we may feel like we are.

When I feel lonely and doubt myself, I want to call on wise counsel-- supportive friends and family who deeply care about me. I want to reach out for their help because I know that they will be there for me, but sometimes I want them to reach out to me without being called on to do so. I know people can’t read minds, but can they read my heart?

My feelings make me realize how important it is for me to reach out to others without their asking. To be present with others and to show up for them is showing up for life. How we treat others is how we treat ourselves, and how we treat ourselves is how we treat others.

Yes of yes…one step at a time…day by day…bird by bird…available light.

We are not alone.

TILT: Things I Love Thursday

Today is Thursday and for the last 40 Thursdays or so (not exactly sure when it all began), I have been posting TILTs to my Facebook page. TILT=Things I Love Thursday! Thank you, Carlyn Eames, for the idea and for the inspiration. I am thankful for her everyday and so happy that our lives connected in 1987 at Transylvania University on Forrer Hall 4th Back.

I love that TILT is such a simple yet profound way to express gratitude, and I love reflecting on what I am thankful for. In fact, every night before I go to bed, I write down five things that I am grateful for. Sometimes it is more than five things. Sometimes I have to stretch to get to five things. But bottom line, I fall asleep with a grateful heart.

Research has revealed that expressing gratitude and writing down what we are grateful for increases our overall happiness and decreases our stress levels.

Psychologists Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough are conducting on-going research on gratitude and thankfulness. This finding is from their website:

"In an experimental comparison, those who kept gratitude journals on a weekly basis exercised more regularly, reported fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic about the upcoming week compared to those who recorded hassles or neutral life events (Emmons & McCullough, 2003)."

TILT: Things I Love Thursday

The open sky, which reminds me of possibilities, change, and beauty; the promise of spring; the Red Rocks in Arizona; the radio program “This I Believe” on NPR; standing on the side of love; the comfort of old friends; joy in the present moment; U2, dark chocolate, Italy, March Madness (Go UK Wildcats!), Canadians, & the Year of the Dragon.

What are you grateful for today? Feel free to join us in expressing you TILT!

What Moves You?

I need a sky that moves is the first line of a poem by Kimberly Schneider that I love. There are a lot of layers in that poem—one of the main themes is change—and that changing skies, landscapes, and events create movement, which brings the soul, the poet, alive.

Whoever imagined paradise as an unchanging landscape?

Change is hard for me. It is not that I dislike new things, innovative ideas, or unexpected good things—ha! I just really like the feel of comfortable shoes, of a strong foundation that supports and grounds me in my own skin.

Change can remind me of shaky ground and that shakiness feels scary to me. I am more confident and assured when I am standing on solid ground. Perhaps I could rework that previous sentence and insert “holy” for “solid.”

What would holy ground feel like? Perhaps it would feel both solid and fluid at the same time. Maybe it would feel calm and still as well as in motion—unchanged and changed at the same time. And leaning into the both/and of holy ground could inspire both being grounded and being moved. Standing on holy ground and flying in a holy universe.

We are standing on holy ground every day, every hour, and every moment. We are all standing on holy ground at all times.

For something tells me my soul can only be known against the vast, unfolding drama of a living universe.

I am interacting with the divine all around me every moment: the divine within me, within every human, and in the world.

What if we all took a deep breath and acted like we were holy creations— cosmic creators-- interacting with other holy creations—divine souls—standing, walking, and running on holy ground and moving within and through a holy universe?

Now—that moves me!

***Check out Kimberly Schneider’s writings on her website at
http://kimberlyschneider.com/
(Lines above in bold are from Kimberly's poem "I Need a Sky That Moves.")

I Am Learning...

I am learning that I am not in charge of the universe. In fact, I have a plaque hanging in my office that says: "Resign as general manager of the universe." And I actually resign every night and then reappoint myself first thing in the morning. I am learning that a permanent resignation from this post would serve the universe and me quite well.

I am learning everyday that I am not perfect. That all of humanity is human and so am I. I am learning to be gentle with myself and others knowing that how I treat others is how I treat myself and how I treat myself is how I treat others.

I am learning that riding the waves—the highest waves—is a lot of fun and very exhilarating. But it also requires an enormous amount of energy.

I am learning that I am not as physically strong as I want to be in order to ride multiple waves.

I am learning that I grow a lot in the valley, but I don’t want to spend a great deal of time there.

I am learning that the middle ground is a good place to be. Feeling grounded and comfortable in my own skin is something that I do not take for granted.

I am learning to breathe in love and compassion and breathe out kindness and light.

I am learning that I love the concept of meditation but that I don’t know exactly how to do it—and that’s ok. I hear that meditation is a practice and that it takes practice.

I have heard that it takes 21 days to cultivate a habit.

What are the habits that I want to cultivate?

Habits of the heart
Habits of the mind
Habits of connection
Habits of joy
Habits of love

I am learning to savor the good stuff and not to ruminate on the negative stuff. Focusing on the positive and the possible opens up my heart.

And I am learning that cultivating these habits of the heart day by day is a practice that I want to focus on every day for the rest of my life.

To Be in 2012

I gave up New Year's Resolutions a long time ago and instead decided to focus on what I wanted to do in the new year. Thanks to Jake Acton for encouraging me to set my intentions for 2012 and inspiring me think about what and who I want to BE in the new year.

Intentions for 2012

Only connect
Be kind
Listen
Be available
Linger
Love as a verb
Move
Be Still
Honor the past
Savor the present moment
Embrace the paradox
Lean into the light
Be open
Express gratitude
Meditate
Write long letters
Feel
Be vulnerable
Extend grace
Laugh
Learn
Unlearn
Live with joy
Be…