Who Are We Not To Shine?

One of my favorite Nerissa Nields songs is “Who Are You Not To Shine?”

Who are you not to shine?
Who are you not to glow?
Who are you not to be your own best self?
You can be who you are
You can change as you grow
But be you, don’t be anybody else

If you weren’t you then who would tell your stories
If you weren’t you then who would walk your miles?
If you weren’t you then who would help your sisters?
If you weren’t you then who would smile your smile?

I was thinking about this song when I was visiting my almost 3 year old nephew, Drew, last weekend in Kentucky.

Drew dances, sings, runs, jumps, laughs, and lives life with such joy. He truly shines. He also brings lots of joy to our family. It is fun to watch him in action: blowing dandelions with gusto, throwing acorns in the creek, break-dancing to the banjo, singing to The Nields song “Aiken Drum,” and giggling with glee as I chase him around the back yard!

Drew reminds me of what is important in this life: love, laughter, and living life with unabashed joy. I am grateful to Drew for teaching me how to embrace each moment with enthusiasm and passion. He definitely shines as he dances, sings, hugs, runs, laughs, plays, and jumps (sometimes too high off of a trampoline and breaks his wrist).

Children have a lot to teach us about joy and shining.

Who are all of us not to shine?

Saying Yes to Life

Yes: saying yes to life. What does that mean?

Being open, stepping forward, showing up, and always walking into available light. How do you know what light is available? By putting one foot in front of the other.

Sometimes, we can all get overwhelmed with the big stuff and doubt that we can actually do it all. Perhaps, by just taking it step by step or as Anne Lamott reminds taking things “bird by bird” all will be ok, and that is all it takes.

Of course none of us can do everything, but all of can do something. I love this quote by Marian Wright Edelman:

“We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee.”

Saying yes is a way of being present, making a daily difference, and taking risks. There are many metaphors for taking risks:

• Taking a leap of faith
• Leaping and the net will appear
• Walking across the tight-rope
• Stepping up to the plate
• Going out on a limb

Saying yes to life is saying yes to faith. It is saying yes when we are not sure. It is a not a false yes—a false pretense—but a genuine enthusiasm for what is and what is possible.

We feel more confident and more able to say yes to life when we are in the presence of supportive others. Friends and family who truly believe in us encourage us to say yes more often. Surrounding ourselves with wise counsel reassures us that we have what it takes inside us to take that next step. We are not alone, but sometimes we may feel like we are.

When I feel lonely and doubt myself, I want to call on wise counsel-- supportive friends and family who deeply care about me. I want to reach out for their help because I know that they will be there for me, but sometimes I want them to reach out to me without being called on to do so. I know people can’t read minds, but can they read my heart?

My feelings make me realize how important it is for me to reach out to others without their asking. To be present with others and to show up for them is showing up for life. How we treat others is how we treat ourselves, and how we treat ourselves is how we treat others.

Yes of yes…one step at a time…day by day…bird by bird…available light.

We are not alone.

TILT: Things I Love Thursday

Today is Thursday and for the last 40 Thursdays or so (not exactly sure when it all began), I have been posting TILTs to my Facebook page. TILT=Things I Love Thursday! Thank you, Carlyn Eames, for the idea and for the inspiration. I am thankful for her everyday and so happy that our lives connected in 1987 at Transylvania University on Forrer Hall 4th Back.

I love that TILT is such a simple yet profound way to express gratitude, and I love reflecting on what I am thankful for. In fact, every night before I go to bed, I write down five things that I am grateful for. Sometimes it is more than five things. Sometimes I have to stretch to get to five things. But bottom line, I fall asleep with a grateful heart.

Research has revealed that expressing gratitude and writing down what we are grateful for increases our overall happiness and decreases our stress levels.

Psychologists Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough are conducting on-going research on gratitude and thankfulness. This finding is from their website:

"In an experimental comparison, those who kept gratitude journals on a weekly basis exercised more regularly, reported fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic about the upcoming week compared to those who recorded hassles or neutral life events (Emmons & McCullough, 2003)."

TILT: Things I Love Thursday

The open sky, which reminds me of possibilities, change, and beauty; the promise of spring; the Red Rocks in Arizona; the radio program “This I Believe” on NPR; standing on the side of love; the comfort of old friends; joy in the present moment; U2, dark chocolate, Italy, March Madness (Go UK Wildcats!), Canadians, & the Year of the Dragon.

What are you grateful for today? Feel free to join us in expressing you TILT!

What Moves You?

I need a sky that moves is the first line of a poem by Kimberly Schneider that I love. There are a lot of layers in that poem—one of the main themes is change—and that changing skies, landscapes, and events create movement, which brings the soul, the poet, alive.

Whoever imagined paradise as an unchanging landscape?

Change is hard for me. It is not that I dislike new things, innovative ideas, or unexpected good things—ha! I just really like the feel of comfortable shoes, of a strong foundation that supports and grounds me in my own skin.

Change can remind me of shaky ground and that shakiness feels scary to me. I am more confident and assured when I am standing on solid ground. Perhaps I could rework that previous sentence and insert “holy” for “solid.”

What would holy ground feel like? Perhaps it would feel both solid and fluid at the same time. Maybe it would feel calm and still as well as in motion—unchanged and changed at the same time. And leaning into the both/and of holy ground could inspire both being grounded and being moved. Standing on holy ground and flying in a holy universe.

We are standing on holy ground every day, every hour, and every moment. We are all standing on holy ground at all times.

For something tells me my soul can only be known against the vast, unfolding drama of a living universe.

I am interacting with the divine all around me every moment: the divine within me, within every human, and in the world.

What if we all took a deep breath and acted like we were holy creations— cosmic creators-- interacting with other holy creations—divine souls—standing, walking, and running on holy ground and moving within and through a holy universe?

Now—that moves me!

***Check out Kimberly Schneider’s writings on her website at
http://kimberlyschneider.com/
(Lines above in bold are from Kimberly's poem "I Need a Sky That Moves.")

I Am Learning...

I am learning that I am not in charge of the universe. In fact, I have a plaque hanging in my office that says: "Resign as general manager of the universe." And I actually resign every night and then reappoint myself first thing in the morning. I am learning that a permanent resignation from this post would serve the universe and me quite well.

I am learning everyday that I am not perfect. That all of humanity is human and so am I. I am learning to be gentle with myself and others knowing that how I treat others is how I treat myself and how I treat myself is how I treat others.

I am learning that riding the waves—the highest waves—is a lot of fun and very exhilarating. But it also requires an enormous amount of energy.

I am learning that I am not as physically strong as I want to be in order to ride multiple waves.

I am learning that I grow a lot in the valley, but I don’t want to spend a great deal of time there.

I am learning that the middle ground is a good place to be. Feeling grounded and comfortable in my own skin is something that I do not take for granted.

I am learning to breathe in love and compassion and breathe out kindness and light.

I am learning that I love the concept of meditation but that I don’t know exactly how to do it—and that’s ok. I hear that meditation is a practice and that it takes practice.

I have heard that it takes 21 days to cultivate a habit.

What are the habits that I want to cultivate?

Habits of the heart
Habits of the mind
Habits of connection
Habits of joy
Habits of love

I am learning to savor the good stuff and not to ruminate on the negative stuff. Focusing on the positive and the possible opens up my heart.

And I am learning that cultivating these habits of the heart day by day is a practice that I want to focus on every day for the rest of my life.